Monday, August 27, 2007

Youthful Senility

I realize that it's been a while since I last posted anything, but I do have a somewhat legitimate excuse: I haven't been near a computer. Now obviously that's not entirely true, but it's mostly true. After packing up and saying goodbye to my beloved Bay City, TX we took 5 days to drive back to Provo. We decided to make a vacation out of it and stop by my sister's in Dallas, my Mission President's in Farmington, NM and various Utah national and state parks. All in all it was a great little trip. Almost as soon as we got back to Provo we headed 800 miles north to Spirit Lake, Idaho for my wife's family reunion. So as you can see my life has been in a transitory state as of late and has allowed little time for adequate blog entry reflection. Now that I have had some time to settle down and reflect upon any significant revelation of the last month I have arrived at the rather disturbing conclusion: I may be losing my mind. Let me explain.

For some reason ever since I got back from my mission 2 years ago a portion of my brain has slowly started to decay, leaving me with somewhat of an absent mind. A classic example of the kind of predicaments my absent mindedness puts me in occurred some months ago as I was exiting the grocery store. To make a long story short I unfortunately locked my groceries in the trunk along with my keys. Fortunately, I have a strange habit of unlocking my car door about a million times as I approach it. This allowed me to then climb into the back seat of the car to see if my back seats would fold down allowing me access to the trunk. Being out of luck with the seat I decided to call my next door neighbor and have him run me over my spare set of keys. As I sat in the back seat of my car I decided to use my honed engineering mind to brainstorm of a failsafe that could be implemented in cars that could be used in situations similar to mine. After about a minute I arrived at the conclusion that there should be some sort of button that.... oh yea. I called my friend back and told him that I had miraculously gained access to my trunk.
Now I know that you must be thinking that all of us have brain farts from time to time and that I'm overreacting when I say that my brain is decaying. But what if you were to have 4 similar "car keys" experiences in 5 days? Would you start to worry then? I'll let you be the judge.

Thurs Aug 23rd: Ever since I was about 6 or 7, bathing myself has been an activity that I could easily handle alone. Apply soap to body, shampoo to hair, rinse with water, you're done. Not much too it. Due mostly to the wife, however, I now have a much wider selection of soaps and cleansers at my disposal. This has not been too much of a problem, however, as I have taken these new options in stride. On Thursday morning it all went terribly wrong. After having used the special face soap and applying a healthy dose of shampoo into my right hand the soap bar unexpectedly slipped off its place and went sliding to my feet. After some difficulty I succeeded in securing it yet again in its proper spot. Somehow in the time that elapsed while chasing after the soap bar I had forgotten that I had already washed my face and didn't remember until I had attempted to do it again with a palm full of shampoo. At first I thought, "Good night this is a lot of face wash", but soon realized my error.

Sat Aug 25th: Every year at the Myers' Family Reunion we never fail to make a stop by a fancy hotel/restaurant on the shore of Coeur D'Alene lake to enjoy some killer desserts. As I dropped my wife and daughter off at the front my wife asked if I could remember to bring the diaper bag, I of course told my wife that it would be no problem. After driving up 4 levels in the parking garage I finally found a spot. When I finally met back up with my wife down at the restaurant she asked if I had brought the bag. I immediately turned around.

Sun Aug 26th: Since I was leaving back to Utah a few days before my wife, she tried her best to make my packing as easy as possible. She put all of my toiletries in a separate bag and reminded me to not forget the bag. After about 4 hours of being on the road with my brother-in-law, my still existent clammy morning breath alerted me to the fact that that morning I had forgotten to stop by the bathroom altogether. That toiletry bag never had a prayer.

Mon Aug 27th: With no wife and child for a few days I decided to get some good guy time in with my brother and rent a video game. The Blockbuster near my brother's house didn't have the game we wanted so we decided to travel the extra couple miles to the next Blockbuster. We got the game we wanted, but upon arriving back at my brother's we found out the game didn't work. Steve had to take care of his kid and asked me if I would be so kind as to go exchange the game. As I got to the out-of-the-way Blockbuster I informed the worker that the game we rented didn't work and that I would like to exchange it. She took the video game case and opened it to check the disc for any visible damage.... Do I really even have to tell you the rest? I forgot the dad gum game at my brother's.

Now I know this was an incredibly long post, but then again I did an incredible amount of dumb things in the past week. So now do you agree that I'm losing my mind? Whether you do or you don't you can still enjoy this slideshow of Abby.


janaya said...

it's called interdependency. what you didn't hear during your marriage ceremony is that you handed over the "remember to do normal things" part of your brain to your wife (ie. location of car keys, wallets, etc). :) don't worry, she'll take good care of you.

Robin said...

Mike!!What a cute little girl you have! Congratulations! But sorry about losing your mind... i blame my mind loss on my child. What a fun way to keep in touch, huh?

Mike Thayer said...

I would like to blame losing my mind on my child, but if I'm already this absent minded with one kid how will I be with 5 or 6? I think I'll agree with Janaya and blame it on the marriage since it's a one time deal. Poor Jilly, how will she ever be able to look after her spaced out husband?

Emmie said...

Mike - I don't think it's so much that you're losing your mind, but rather that you're trying to emulate my husband.