Sunday, May 18, 2008

My Graduation Beard

Well, here I am some 10 months later. It seems as though I'm only a seasonal blogger. Strictly no posts outside the months of May to August. I actually was working up a draft just the other day (January) but got sidetracked, so now it doesn't really apply and has little to no use. If you're reading this, odds are you already read my wife's blog (of which I am sometimes a ghostwriter) but I'll give you a quick update on my life. Plus the more I write, the less guilt I feel about never writing in my journal since the day I left the mission field.

My darling daughter Abigail is now just about 13 months. She has only just barely started to get teeth, still does not have that much hair, has shown little desire to walk (although she climbs and crawls all over Christendom), and is as cute as ever. Abby has changed from a sweet little baby to a happy, spirited, and adventurous little girl of which I am quite proud.

I have officially accepted a job in Texas with ExxonMobil and will be starting in late June (by the way, if you consider Exxon your "enemy", the cause of your high gas prices, or the reason why lowly polar bears are floating around on broken ice chunks I want you to know that you are a moron). Nothing gets me going (just ask Jill) more than a good conversation about the world's current and future "energy crisis" and global warming alarmism. So if anyone wishes to debate these matters I am more than willing.

A few other things about my current state of being: I'm loyally frustrated at my Utah Jazz, happy that summer's here, totally disappointed with Indiana Jones, trying to soak in every moment with family and friends before we go down to Houston, and growing out my graduation beard,.

A thought on my graduation beard. I've been growing this beard here ever since graduation, which makes him about a month old now. Some people like my beard. Some people do not like my beard. Some people think I look like Jake Gyllenhaal. But all of this has absolutely nothing to do with why I have grown my graduation beard and how long I intend to keep my graduation beard. Sometimes you just have to "grow a graduation beard." I subjected myself to four long years of intense, grueling Chemical Engineering studies at BYU as well as a very demanding and rigorous two year mission, all the while unable to let my inner beard free. Sometimes you just gotta do what ya gotta do because you're entitled to it.

Now don't insult me by construing the growth of one's graduation beard to mean something that it does not. I'm not talking about a mid-life crisis, sowing your wild oats, doing drugs because you finally moved out of the house, or getting married to your "friend" because its finally legal in California. No, I'm not talking about that. That's got nothing to do with the privilege of the graduation beard.

First, there is nothing inherently morally wrong with a graduation beard. Not unless you think that rugged lumberjack-esque good looks are a sin, because if they are, well then convene the disciplinary council! Second, the graduation beard is free. I'm not demanding a boat or a brand new car just because I did what I was supposed to do all these years; I'm just stickin' it to man by growing a sweet beard. Third, my graduation beard is awesome and sometimes startles me when I forget about it and see my reflection. Fourth, my graduation beard makes me look wicked intimidating, which comes in handy when saving a lot of seats at the movie theater or when I mispronounce someone's name because it's like "Although I disagree with him, who wants to mess with that guy sporting that intimidating beard?!"

So for everyone out there that feels entitled to grow their own "graduation beard", as long as it meets the same criteria as mine, I say "grow right ahead!"