Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Gigantaornithophobia (Fear of big birds)

Howdy! I figure after about a week or so since my last post I owe it to my adoring fan(s) (I love you Stuv) to add another one. This last weekend the wife, the bug, and myself took a little trip to the city so great that it almost redeems Texas. That city is of course San Antonio. In my opinion, it's the most beautiful mountainless city in the US. It is important that I include "mountainless" as a qualifier because I have been recently told that Cheyenne, Wyoming is absolutely gorgeous. We took a tour along the beautiful Riverwalk. It had almost a European feel to it. We also went to the Guinness Book of World Records Museum, which ironically enough is in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the most overpriced museum on earth. We also went to the Alamo. It's some famous brick barn. I think Johnny Appleseed died there or something. For our sleeping accomdations we chose the luxorious America's Best Value Inn a few miles outside of downtown. We tried checking into a hotel closer to downtown, but they said they were all booked. One kind hotel guy pointed us to a "less expensive place that keeps its rooms clean." Jill didn't want to stay there though. She has this weird phobia of staying in one-story motels with barbed wire chain link fences and barred windows. It was either that or her fear of sleeping across the street from a graveyard (all 100% true!). Whatever the reason we decided to go a tad further outside of town.

Speaking of phobias, on the following day we decided to go the Wildlife Reserve to take a safari Texas style. It was actually a lot of fun. I also found out something about myself. I have Gigantaornithophobia, or fear of man-sized birds. This is well documented in the attached video (Perhaps you could check the severity of my psychological condition Steve). I think this all goes back to the Big Bird movie I used to watch as a kid. There was this evil bird, whose name escapes me but I will refer to as Roger, that was after Big Bird and it scared the crap out of me! I honestly have a vivid picture of Roger’s face in my mind. There's this scene where Big Bird hides in this haystack to avoid being caught and probably tortured by Roger. Now that I think about it, this may have something to do with my fear of haystacks as well. I mean, if friggin Big Bird can hide in a haystack there's no telling what's lurking in there! At any rate, a great weekend of discovery all around.

Mike

7 comments:

Donlu said...

I KNEW that letting you watch Sesame Street was a bad idea! Sorry I wasn't more vigilant!

The video is missing. A problem on my end? I'm anxious to see it.

Love, Mom

Donlu said...

Ah. Now it's there. Just watching it rather terrifies ME! Those ram things could turn your car over! That zebra could bite your hand off! That bird could put your eye out ....! Am I a too-cautious Mama? Was I not the one, though, who fearlessly approached the grizzly with the camera in Yellowstone?

Emmie said...

Poor little Mikey! I believe the Big Bird movie that so traumatized you is the 1985 classic Follow That Bird!, and "Roger" is no other than Miss Finch. Click on her name if you want to face your fears!

Mike Thayer said...

Miss Finch, huh? That's her! Yikes! What the fudge were the brains at Sesame Street thinking?! That picture seriously freaks me out.

Stephen said...

I must admit that I've never been a giant bird lover either. Miss Finch not withstanding, the Skeksis from the Dark Crystal probably also contributed to your current Gigantaornithophobia. You'd be surprised how many BYU students come in to the Counseling Center seeking treatment for nightmares involving giant, bird-like monsters moaning at them in undulating tones. Now, let us all observe a moment of silence for Johnny Appleseed.

THS 2000 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Garrett said...

Sorry, I am the mysterious ths 2000.
Great post! So that is why you wet your pants when we asked if you wanted to go on a hay ride this past Autumn.